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Every card is a made-up line said by a made-up animal. The jokes target paperwork, deadlines and long meetings, never real people. Copy the text, download a card, or share it wherever suits you.
What these are not: they are not historical evidence, and they never put words in the mouth of a real historical person. Each card keeps its own world; nothing crosses over.
Show me the evidence. Slowly.
Said by: CleoCATra
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Cleopatra VII, but not Cleopatra, and never evidence for Cleopatra’s life.
Fictional joke from the CleoCATra’s Egypt character world. Not a historical quote.
I wrote it down. Twice. Wrongly.
Said by: CleoCATra
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Cleopatra VII, but not Cleopatra, and never evidence for Cleopatra’s life.
Fictional joke from the CleoCATra’s Egypt character world. Not a historical quote.
This library has a strict leaning policy.
Said by: Inky Ibis
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Cleopatra VII, but not Cleopatra, and never evidence for Cleopatra’s life.
Fictional joke from the CleoCATra’s Egypt character world. Not a historical quote.
Small architect. Giant door. No handle.
Said by: CleoCATra
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Cleopatra VII, but not Cleopatra, and never evidence for Cleopatra’s life.
Fictional joke from the CleoCATra’s Egypt character world. Not a historical quote.
Big tusks, bigger plans, zero idea where the bridge ends.
Said by: William Walrus
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by William Wallace, but not William Wallace, and never evidence for William Wallace’s life.
Fictional joke from the William Walrus’s Scotland character world. Not a historical quote.
I counted. Two at a time. Trust me, I’m an otter.
Said by: Morry Otter
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by William Wallace, but not William Wallace, and never evidence for William Wallace’s life.
Fictional joke from the William Walrus’s Scotland character world. Not a historical quote.
My stories are 100 percent true, 60 percent of the time.
Said by: Harry Hoot
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by William Wallace, but not William Wallace, and never evidence for William Wallace’s life.
Fictional joke from the William Walrus’s Scotland character world. Not a historical quote.
Fact check: that story was 90 percent owl.
Said by: Harry Hoot
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by William Wallace, but not William Wallace, and never evidence for William Wallace’s life.
Fictional joke from the William Walrus’s Scotland character world. Not a historical quote.
Checked the list twice. The list checked back.
Said by: Aviatrix Lark
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Amelia Earhart, but not Amelia Earhart, and never evidence for the real Amelia Earhart.
Fictional joke from the Amelia Earhart’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Small bird. Big flight plan.
Said by: Pip Wrenfeather
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Amelia Earhart, but not Amelia Earhart, and never evidence for the real Amelia Earhart.
Fictional joke from the Amelia Earhart’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Told I could not. Packed anyway.
Said by: Aviatrix Lark
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Amelia Earhart, but not Amelia Earhart, and never evidence for the real Amelia Earhart.
Fictional joke from the Amelia Earhart’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Headwind again? Rude. Log it.
Said by: Aviatrix Lark
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Amelia Earhart, but not Amelia Earhart, and never evidence for the real Amelia Earhart.
Fictional joke from the Amelia Earhart’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The starling learned it first. Not sorry.
Said by: Aria Starling
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Mozart and his documented pet starling, but not Mozart, and never evidence for Mozart’s life.
Fictional joke from the Mozart’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Deadline: Thursday. Today: Tuesday. Panic: mild.
Said by: Baron Fanfare
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Mozart and his documented pet starling, but not Mozart, and never evidence for Mozart’s life.
Fictional joke from the Mozart’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
From the top. Again. With feeling.
Said by: Cue Wren
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Mozart and his documented pet starling, but not Mozart, and never evidence for Mozart’s life.
Fictional joke from the Mozart’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Commission accepted. Sleep schedule: ruined.
Said by: Aria Starling
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Mozart and his documented pet starling, but not Mozart, and never evidence for Mozart’s life.
Fictional joke from the Mozart’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
New idea! This changes everything!
Said by: Maestro Leo the Lion
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Leonardo da Vinci, but not Leonardo da Vinci, and never evidence for his life.
Fictional joke from the Leonardo da Vinci’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
I will finish it soon. (Soon means never.)
Said by: Maestro Leo the Lion
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Leonardo da Vinci, but not Leonardo da Vinci, and never evidence for his life.
Fictional joke from the Leonardo da Vinci’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Notes? Backwards. Problems? None.
Said by: Specchio the Owl
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Leonardo da Vinci, but not Leonardo da Vinci, and never evidence for his life.
Fictional joke from the Leonardo da Vinci’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
It is not messy, it is a system.
Said by: Maestro Leo the Lion
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Leonardo da Vinci, but not Leonardo da Vinci, and never evidence for his life.
Fictional joke from the Leonardo da Vinci’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The banner has opinions. The banner wins.
Said by: Jeanne the Lamb
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the story of Joan of Arc, but not Joan of Arc, and never evidence for Joan of Arc’s life.
Fictional joke from the Joan of Arc’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Nap first. Conquer later.
Said by: Pennance the Horse
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the story of Joan of Arc, but not Joan of Arc, and never evidence for Joan of Arc’s life.
Fictional joke from the Joan of Arc’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Helmet said one size fits all. Helmet lied.
Said by: Planks the Donkey
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the story of Joan of Arc, but not Joan of Arc, and never evidence for Joan of Arc’s life.
Fictional joke from the Joan of Arc’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The youngest one had the plan. As usual.
Said by: Jeanne the Lamb
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the story of Joan of Arc, but not Joan of Arc, and never evidence for Joan of Arc’s life.
Fictional joke from the Joan of Arc’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
My symphony is not long. Your watch is slow.
Said by: Maestro Mastiff
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Ludwig van Beethoven, but not Beethoven, and never evidence for anything about Beethoven.
Fictional joke from the Beethoven’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Told the metronome to behave. It filed a complaint.
Said by: Tick-Tock Woodpecker
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Ludwig van Beethoven, but not Beethoven, and never evidence for anything about Beethoven.
Fictional joke from the Beethoven’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Party rule: write it, do not shout it.
Said by: Nod-Along Crane
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Ludwig van Beethoven, but not Beethoven, and never evidence for anything about Beethoven.
Fictional joke from the Beethoven’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Sketchbook full. This park has the best ideas.
Said by: Maestro Mastiff
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Ludwig van Beethoven, but not Beethoven, and never evidence for anything about Beethoven.
Fictional joke from the Beethoven’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Checking it twice, because once is for beginners.
Said by: Owliver Checkwise
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the mathematical traditions associated with Pythagoras, but not Pythagoras, and never evidence for his life.
Fictional joke from the Pythagoras’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Right angles: now available on a rope.
Said by: Knodalos the Heron
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the mathematical traditions associated with Pythagoras, but not Pythagoras, and never evidence for his life.
Fictional joke from the Pythagoras’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Square numbers: 9, 16, 25, me on exam day.
Said by: Puncta the Spider
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the mathematical traditions associated with Pythagoras, but not Pythagoras, and never evidence for his life.
Fictional joke from the Pythagoras’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The secret club has one rule: forget the rule.
Said by: Sector the Weasel
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the mathematical traditions associated with Pythagoras, but not Pythagoras, and never evidence for his life.
Fictional joke from the Pythagoras’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The meeting minutes are nine pages. The meeting was four minutes.
Said by: Tally Otter
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the real story of Alexander Hamilton, but not Alexander Hamilton, and never evidence for anything he said or did.
Fictional joke from the Alexander Hamilton’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
When the whole forest argues and you brought snacks.
Said by: Bramble Squirrel
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the real story of Alexander Hamilton, but not Alexander Hamilton, and never evidence for anything he said or did.
Fictional joke from the Alexander Hamilton’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Stamping it twice because once does not feel official enough.
Said by: Marlowe Seal
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the real story of Alexander Hamilton, but not Alexander Hamilton, and never evidence for anything he said or did.
Fictional joke from the Alexander Hamilton’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Two ideas raced. Everyone got better electricity.
Said by: Lulu Lumen
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Nikola Tesla, but not Nikola Tesla, and never evidence for his life.
Fictional joke from the Nikola Tesla’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Failed experiment? That is called data.
Said by: Graham Groundhog
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the research history of Frederick Banting and his colleagues, but not any real researcher, and never evidence for their lives.
Fictional joke from the Frederick Banting’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The freezer iced over again. The paperwork, however, thrives.
Said by: Emmeline Ermine
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the research history of Frederick Banting and his colleagues, but not any real researcher, and never evidence for their lives.
Fictional joke from the Frederick Banting’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
One dollar. Ten pages. Sign here, here, and here.
Said by: Jesse Jay
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the research history of Frederick Banting and his colleagues, but not any real researcher, and never evidence for their lives.
Fictional joke from the Frederick Banting’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The squeaky stool has been discussed. Extensively. In a meeting.
Said by: Gwen Goose
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the research history of Frederick Banting and his colleagues, but not any real researcher, and never evidence for their lives.
Fictional joke from the Frederick Banting’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Keep your receipt. You never know which one will be famous.
Said by: Silas Mink
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the public history of Viola Desmond, but not Viola Desmond, and never evidence for her life.
The caption jokes about paperwork only. Segregation and the real 1946 case are never joked about in this world.
Fictional joke from the Viola Desmond’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
One cent. One receipt. One very important folder.
Said by: Silas Mink
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the public history of Viola Desmond, but not Viola Desmond, and never evidence for her life.
The caption jokes about paperwork only. Segregation and the real 1946 case are never joked about in this world.
Fictional joke from the Viola Desmond’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The queue was long, the till was stubborn, the receipt was exact.
Said by: Purser Whale
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the public history of Viola Desmond, but not Viola Desmond, and never evidence for her life.
The caption jokes about paperwork only. Segregation and the real 1946 case are never joked about in this world.
Fictional joke from the Viola Desmond’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Pinned, stitched, and ready by Friday.
Said by: Rosa R. Mouse
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the public history of Rosa Parks, but not Rosa Parks, and never evidence for her life.
The caption jokes about sewing deadlines only. Segregation and the real history are never joked about in this world.
Fictional joke from the Rosa Parks’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
This bus timetable makes no sense at all.
Said by: Coo the Carrier
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the public history of Rosa Parks, but not Rosa Parks, and never evidence for her life.
The caption jokes about a confusing timetable only. Segregation and the real history are never joked about in this world.
Fictional joke from the Rosa Parks’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
One hundred copies. Done before bedtime.
Said by: Chirp the Printer
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the public history of Rosa Parks, but not Rosa Parks, and never evidence for her life.
The caption jokes about printing jobs only. Segregation and the real history are never joked about in this world.
Fictional joke from the Rosa Parks’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The meeting had one item. It took four hours.
Said by: Professor Croak
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by the public history of Rosa Parks, but not Rosa Parks, and never evidence for her life.
The caption jokes about long meetings only. Segregation and the real history are never joked about in this world.
Fictional joke from the Rosa Parks’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Write it down. Then change it.
Said by: Edy Echidna
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Edith Cowan’s public history, but not Edith Cowan, and never evidence for her life.
Fictional joke from the Edith Cowan’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
The minutes say we are right. Check the minutes.
Said by: Dawn the Kookaburra
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Edith Cowan’s public history, but not Edith Cowan, and never evidence for her life.
Fictional joke from the Edith Cowan’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Folder B. Obviously.
Said by: Docket the Numbat
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Edith Cowan’s public history, but not Edith Cowan, and never evidence for her life.
Fictional joke from the Edith Cowan’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
Tea first. Democracy second. Tea again.
Said by: Dawn the Kookaburra
Fiction label: Fictional character. Inspired by Edith Cowan’s public history, but not Edith Cowan, and never evidence for her life.
Fictional joke from the Edith Cowan’s World character world. Not a historical quote.
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